Let not your heart be troubled
"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." (John 14:27)
I often feel burdened, like I'm supposed to be perfect. The realization that I'm not sends me into a whirlwind of depression, knowing that God's law and my actions have separated paths, and it's not God's law that's meandering off the straight and narrow. Surely the Lord -- the Great and Eternal Judge -- can't be pleased with my misdoings. He's a God of justice, right? If the law is broken, then I've got to pay up. And even though I understand that the Atonement is there to pay the debt for me, I still don't really understand. I don't understand that it's precisely because I *am* a sinner, utterly undeserving of anything heavenly, that Christ comes in and saves me. Even though I'm hopelessly imperfect no matter how hard I try, He still loves me. How can He love me?!? I make so many mistakes. But somehow His charity covers and overlooks a multitude of my sins and shortcomings, when my heart is in the right place. I don't understand it, but it sure feels good. It's like a huge wave of relief soaking through every patch of my heart. He picks up the pieces of my shattered soul and patiently, lovingly, painstakingly fits them back together again, each time into something a little more glorious than the last (until I go and shatter it again). Sometimes I forget about Him, though, more often than I'd like to admit. I forget how good forgiveness feels and get numbed out of feeling anything at all. How can I forget something so wonderful? And yet I do. I don't understand myself. All I understand, really, is that He is there no matter what, even if I can't see Him or feel Him or touch Him, and that He'll always be there for me. And that He's always ready to heal my heart just as soon as I approach him sincerely.
Hmm, I've never written an entry like this before, but it feels good.
I often feel burdened, like I'm supposed to be perfect. The realization that I'm not sends me into a whirlwind of depression, knowing that God's law and my actions have separated paths, and it's not God's law that's meandering off the straight and narrow. Surely the Lord -- the Great and Eternal Judge -- can't be pleased with my misdoings. He's a God of justice, right? If the law is broken, then I've got to pay up. And even though I understand that the Atonement is there to pay the debt for me, I still don't really understand. I don't understand that it's precisely because I *am* a sinner, utterly undeserving of anything heavenly, that Christ comes in and saves me. Even though I'm hopelessly imperfect no matter how hard I try, He still loves me. How can He love me?!? I make so many mistakes. But somehow His charity covers and overlooks a multitude of my sins and shortcomings, when my heart is in the right place. I don't understand it, but it sure feels good. It's like a huge wave of relief soaking through every patch of my heart. He picks up the pieces of my shattered soul and patiently, lovingly, painstakingly fits them back together again, each time into something a little more glorious than the last (until I go and shatter it again). Sometimes I forget about Him, though, more often than I'd like to admit. I forget how good forgiveness feels and get numbed out of feeling anything at all. How can I forget something so wonderful? And yet I do. I don't understand myself. All I understand, really, is that He is there no matter what, even if I can't see Him or feel Him or touch Him, and that He'll always be there for me. And that He's always ready to heal my heart just as soon as I approach him sincerely.
Hmm, I've never written an entry like this before, but it feels good.
posted by Ben at 8:43 PM
2 Comments:
Good post Ben, Christ's love really is amazing and yet a mystery. John 14 is so full of encouraging truth. I hope this is encouraging.
It's amazing how God can take our feelings of inadequacy and turn something beautiful out of it. We have to despair of trying to do it on our own. When God's law meets our shortcomings we become aware of sin. This is not a pleasant discovery.
"By the deeds of the law there shall no flesh be justified in his sight: for by the law is the knowledge of sin." Romans 3:20
Before Jesus said, "Let not your hearts be troubled." Simon Peter swore he would even lay down his life for Jesus, yet Jesus knew what was in Simon Peter's heart and said , "Wilt thou lay down thy life for my sake? Verily, verily, I say unto thee, The cock shall not crow, till thou hast denied me thrice." John 13:38.
Christ's realism collides with our human fantasies.
His realism tears us down in despair, then builds us up again in hope. His love is a perfecting love, which takes us and makes us more loveable.
Like you said...
"""He picks up the pieces of my shattered soul and patiently, lovingly, painstakingly fits them back together again, each time into something a little more glorious than the last (until I go and shatter it again)."""
and
"I don't understand that it's precisely because I *am* a sinner, utterly undeserving of anything heavenly, that Christ comes in and saves me."
Out troubled hearts meet his kindness. In Jn 14 he explains why we should not be troubled in heart.
What does he require of us when he says, "Let not your hearts be troubled."? Jn 14:1 ...Ye believe in God, believe also in me. (Jn 14:1). We should believe in Christ and hear his words. He describes the heavenly rest he has prepared for us. And to what end has he done this "that where I am there ye may be also." Can anything in this life even stand out in the glare of that weighty promise? To be with Him and the Father?
Christ presents himself as the way to the Father. And promises that we shall do even greater works by the Spirit of truth. What confidence we have before God as he has "by one offering hath perfected forever them that are sanctified." Heb 10:14!
The same Jesus who empowers us to do his will. "And such trust have we through Christ to God-ward: Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think any thing as of ourselves; but our sufficiency is of God; Who also hath made us able ministers of the new testament; not of the letter, but of the spirit: for the letter killeth, but the spirit giveth life."
Christ calls us to believe. And yet it is he who works everything. The more we believe His words, and see how he has accepted us, the more recklessly we can obey him, even when the rest of the world calls us fools.
blessings,
Thanks for your comment! I really appreciated it. When you said, "It's amazing how God can take our feelings of inadequacy and turn something beautiful out of it," that got me thinking about one of the blessings of imperfection: it helps us to realize that we need God more than we need anything else in this life. If I didn't make so many mistakes then I'd probably become cocky and think that I would be able to do it without God. But falling down so many times keeps reminding me where the real source of goodness is and how much I need to cling to Him to survive the barrage of evil each day.
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